A Healthy Sexual Life Gives Confidence to Couples During the Cancer Process

One of the most ignored issues in terms of relationship management in couples diagnosed with cancer is sexuality. However, sexual life is important and not prohibited during the cancer treatment process. Maintaining it under certain conditions positively affects the treatment process by supporting the relationship.

“People who have strong communication skills, high empathy and problem-solving skills, manage to maintain healthier relationships during the cancer treatment process.”.”

Selin Karabulut Speed ​​up – Expert Psychologist

Cancer, with its physical, psychological, social and even economic dimensions, is a process that brings about a change in all roles within the family and an increased need for support, especially in couples. Undoubtedly, there is nothing more natural than a person being worried about his/her partner/spouse who has been diagnosed with the disease. The important thing in this process is how spouses manage their concerns. Personality structure, coping strategies, stage and course of the disease, and the age of the patient are very effective in this entire process. Can everything continue in its natural course in this period when anxiety is tried to be reduced? For example, what path should be followed in the sexual life of spouses? When a changing body image negatively affects sexuality (such as weight loss, hair loss, breast surgery and scars), how does this reflect on the relationship? We examined the issue of sexuality in cancer within the scope of the information given by Anadolu Health Center Specialist Psychologist Selin Karabulut Hızlan…

In Some Situations We Can Stay Away From Sexuality

Sexuality is one of the indispensable foundations of a couple’s relationship, playing an important role in the life of every adult. If we are in a good mood, if everything is fine in our relationship, if we are healthy, our libido increases and we want to be sexually active and get physically close to our loved one. Sometimes there are situations where we postpone pleasure, and in these cases we temporarily move away from sexuality. For example, when we give birth, when we receive bad news, when we are very tired and stressed, or when we are sick… Therefore, it is natural for spouses to stay away from sexuality during the diagnosis and/or treatment phase.

Is Sexuality Harmful in Cancer Treatment?

Sexual intercourse is not prohibited during ongoing treatment (chemotherapy/radiotherapy/hormonetherapy). However, protection with condoms is important in terms of transmitting infection to the patient. Therefore, as long as the spouses want, there is no harm in them having sexual intercourse. Sexual desire-sexuality is not a process that will disrupt your treatment (except for cases deemed inappropriate by your doctor). Sexual intercourse can also be continued in case of menopause after chemotherapy. The most important thing here is to take into account one’s own wishes and needs. It is best to consult your doctor and get support for accurate information and supplements. The patient’s need for support and closeness increases due to changing roles, concerns and responsibilities in the relationship after diagnosis. Both spouses with decreased sexual energy, especially the diagnosed spouse, may have a greater need for closeness, compassion, understanding and support.

If Couples Cannot Adapt to the New Situation…

Generally, relationships that are on a stick, that is, unhealthy relationships that are not good, can deteriorate further. Of course, a person’s partner being diagnosed with cancer is at least as traumatic as having cancer themselves. The person may have difficulty trying to stay calm while also supporting the person they love. Some problems in the relationship are tried to be ignored, but in the meantime, the relationship may become even more complicated. Healthy relationships are not damaged by strong support and communication, and some even emerge stronger from this process. Thanks to their problem-solving skills and open communication in the emotional field, they get through the process and move on.

5 SUGGESTIONS!

You have only one wish: to be understood.

Research shows that the spouses of people diagnosed with the disease want to be “understood” the most. Keep your communication strong, give importance to empathy. In this way, your problem-solving skills will be strengthened and you will be able to maintain a healthier relationship during the treatment process. Remember; Couples who have a healthy relationship understand what their partners need, how much they need, what their priorities are, and can empathize with each other.

Don’t listen to false rumors

There is sexuality in a healthy relationship, despite the disease. It may only increase or decrease in frequency. But sexual life never ends. Never listen to statements such as “Be grateful that you are alive.”

Nurture sexuality in every area of ​​your life

Sexuality is not just about sexual intercourse; All kinds of skin contact, physical closeness, erotic conversations, messaging or affectionate kisses and hugs are also within the scope of sexuality. Remember this; Your sexual life with your partner does not start in your bedroom, it is something you can always nurture in every aspect of your life.

Be honest with your children

Remember, children are not the saviors of the couple’s relationship or the reason to endure the relationship. The diagnosis in question creates some changes in their lives. It is best to share accurate and sufficient information with them honestly.

Don’t postpone your life

There is a big mistake seen in the relationships of couples diagnosed with cancer; To put everything on hold and wait, to postpone normal life until the treatment is over. However, despite the treatment, it is possible to chat, joke, travel, go on vacation, and romance. Do not remove these from your life, even temporarily. What defines you should not be a “disease diagnosis”.