How Col. Maliamungu saved Ugandans from becoming idiots!

By Ndawula Ronald Herman Basudde and Paul Kafeero were the music stars of the late 80s and 90s. I love Kadongo Kamu because of the real life stories and narratives which put a human face to music.  One particular song whose name I don’t recall narrated a string of problems and challenges the singer encountered during the times of graduated tax.  The tax enforcement raided his home and he went through the back door to the cassava plantation.  On taking cover in the bush, the man accidentally touched a black python devouring its prey, he rushed shouting for his life, then was brought down by a hunters trap…..  After a sequence of misfortunes in the evening he went to his neighbor’s house Yosia only to find his goat had given birth to an antelope!  When I look at my Uganda I see a country at crossroads and gridlocked in various managerial issues of varying intensity.  A satirical story is told of how Lt.Col Isaac Maliyamungu a Minister in President IDD Amin’s regime saved Ugandans from  b

How Col. Maliamungu saved Ugandans from becoming idiots!

By Ndawula Ronald

Herman Basudde and Paul Kafeero were the music stars of the late 80s and 90s.

I love Kadongo Kamu because of the real life stories and narratives which put a human face to music. 

One particular song whose name I don’t recall narrated a string of problems and challenges the singer encountered during the times of graduated tax. 

The tax enforcement raided his home and he went through the back door to the cassava plantation. 

On taking cover in the bush, the man accidentally touched a black python devouring its prey, he rushed shouting for his life, then was brought down by a hunters trap….. 

After a sequence of misfortunes in the evening he went to his neighbor’s house Yosia only to find his goat had given birth to an antelope! 

When I look at my Uganda I see a country at crossroads and gridlocked in various managerial issues of varying intensity. 

A satirical story is told of how Lt.Col Isaac Maliyamungu a Minister in President IDD Amin’s regime saved Ugandans from  being named Idiots.

When Idd Amin got excited about countries being christened new names in OAU, he consulted his close advisers about his wish of naming Uganda the republic of IDD! 

Maliyamungu apologetically told the President that it’s possible but unfortunately the people of the republic will also be called IDDIOTS!

President Amin laughed and grudgingly dropped the idea. 

Now that it’s clear beyond any reasonable doubt that the Presidential advisors Full figure , Kusasira Catherine and Butcherman are doing their work of advising the highest office in the land.

I have no doubt when I see the precarious and fraught situation of prices, fuel , wars, strikes, and industrial actions we should all come forward to devise means through our Presidential advisers to see how we revert this abhorrent situation. 

It’s no longer fair to blame the President for anything because our celebrities are in charge and they occupy those relevant technical positions because they’re our models. 

When I see the trending decisions that government is making, I can’t help but to thank the hard working advisors. 

When government decided to increase the salary of scientists by almost 300% and their counterparts 0% is clear the advisors are busy! 

I take long to buy Soap personally but yesterday I thought and almost fought my Boda Boda man for trying to cheat me when he bought a basin for 6000 and a bar of soap for 9000 and took my balance of 5000/= as transport!

I couldn’t believe a basin to cost less than soap and a distance of 1 km to cost about the price of a basin! 

The accountability for my 20,000 thousand left me gazing and I really wish to thank the advisors. 

Going to Luwero town, I find a bus full of URA agents with fresh taxes to the local shops! 

These were introducing fresh taxes up and above the one that had been already instituted against them by the local authorities, and the landlords! 

Then I started wondering the wisdom of Buchaman, Full figure and Kusasira! 

I had thought in Kusasira as adviser we had the manifestation of empathy! 

My first disappointment was when Musenero a veterinary Doctor taking on the mantle of making a vaccine for human consumption in disregard of the presence of pharmacologists, posologists and toxicologists who should be at the forefront of developing, assessing dosages and toxicity of drugs not virus researchers in animals. 

This was wrong from the start Mr.Buchaman and when you see Mzee rescind your initial advice on the grounds that Veterinary doctors are specifically specialised in animal care and health. 

Madam Kusasira in you we trust to advise the President about the cost of food,

Posho is about to reach 3000 per kilo and at this rate Ugandans need alternative food.

Those surviving on rearing chicken can no longer afford maize brand and soon chicken is going to be impossible to eat. 

Mr.buchaman I believe and know the birthday idea in a crisis like this was your strategy because you’re an artist and had been on katebe for long , dont you think that was ill timing and not a rational campaign strategy?

Madam Full figure , since you sat in that special office, it started with Covid 19, then lock down now tools down by the teachers and soon, I hear Universities and local government workers!

Ugandan children are now missing about 3 years of lost time in education! 

Can’t we sell some of those new bombardier jets doing nothing at Entebbe but act like flower pots for decoration and prestige and instead we pay teachers? 

Your advice to the President to start a air carrier in these troubled times was not well researched since even well managed and  capable airlines are making losses. 

Mr.Buchaman now that the world is changing swiftly , world war 2 arsenal is no longer capable to fight 21 century wars, the stock piles of military arsenal Uganda keeps buying are scarecrow gadgets suitable to subdue Besigye riots and nothing more. 

If we can utilise the money for buying antiquated MI28 to pay teachers we shall never see a Ugandan raising a voice against the government because we’re a peaceful crowd. 

The only person who was disturbing Uganda’s peace and the Master of violence by his confession is the President himself. 

Madam Kusasira,  your appointment was really justified and now you’re near the ear of power, tell the Old man that wars no longer make sense to all the belligerent sides.

If you can take into consideration the time we wasted, the business we lost and maybe the lives lost in the recent scuffle with Rwanda how do you account for that? 

Look at the people of DRC and what they’re going through and the immense wealth the country is gifted with. 

Ugandans are facing serious challenges and recruitment of soldiers at this stage means this poor country looks set for another useless war. 

Why can’t we look for peace for the first time and we see that we get our country out of the abyss. 

Those good sounding programs like OWC, NAADS, Emyooga, YLP, UWEP, Pinnet, Entandikwa, and  now Parish development model are Christian names of hallucinations of development which can never lead Uganda to any meaningful advance.

Presidential advisers this is your time to justify the salary and facilitation you receive to help Ugandans. 

Ndawula Ronald, the author is the former chairperson of Luwero district 

The post How Col. Maliamungu saved Ugandans from becoming idiots! appeared first on Trusted News Uganda.

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