Relationship Expert Shares 4 Signs Your Partner Is about to Cheat: “Being Defensive”

Have you ever been in love, and then suddenly, things change, and the spark between you and your partner isn’t there anymore? Well, a relationship expert has shared signs to look out for in your partner when such happens.

How to tell your partner wants to cheat

April Davis, a relationship expert and founder of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking, shared early warning signs that can help prevent cheating, including defensiveness about privacy and sudden changes in routine.

April opined that if you suspect your partner is thinking about cheating, don’t hit the panic button just yet.

“While certain behaviours may raise red flags, they’re not a smoking gun, and could indicate deeper emotional struggles to explore with your partner. Try to address concerns calmly and constructively. Approach issues with open-ended, ‘I’ questions like, ‘I’ve noticed more distance between us than usual – what’s going on?’” he shared.

Signs of a cheating partner

Below are the four signs showing your partner might be thinking of cheating, as shared by the renowned relationship counsellor.

1. Being defensive about privacy

Your partner’s attitude towards their privacy usually begins playfully. But if they become increasingly serious about their secretiveness, especially about their phone, computer, or social media activity, this may indicate they are harbouring thoughts of infidelity.

“Whilst we’re not talking about committing a direct breach of someone’s privacy, if your partner won’t let you see anything on their phone or just hates the thought of you going through it, 9 times out of 10 it’s usually nothing. But visible distress and aggression towards that is a big red flag, especially if you let them go through your devices,” April advised.

2. The spark is dwindling

“Some couples can experience an extended honeymoon period, which could go on from months to a year, but ending with disastrous consequences,” April warns.

A sudden loss of common interests, more heated arguments, or losing those ‘butterflies’ in your stomach that you once had can be big indicators of such. And don’t think your partner isn’t at that point either.

This is where communication is most important; if your partner seems less enthusiastic about spending time with you, it may suggest they are feeling disconnected or considering exploring other relationships, so if you notice a significant change in yours.

This is where communication is most important; if your partner seems less enthusiastic about spending time with you, it may suggest they are feeling disconnected or considering exploring other relationships. So, if you notice a significant change in your and your partner’s feelings toward each other but still want to make things work, it’s time to address it openly and honestly.

3. Avoiding the big conversations

We’ve all been there before. You’re in love and want to take it to the next level, but you have to gauge how your partner feels first, of course. Pending you’ve spent enough time together and feel this could lead to something more, it’s time to have the big talk.

But is your partner avoiding these discussions? Do they seem put off by long-term commitment? These are sometimes signs that they’re contemplating other options, even if they haven’t pursued them yet.

April, stressing the importance of open communication, says, “If you feel like you’ve invested enough time and effort into a relationship, you’re more than welcome to open up a deep meaningful chat with your partner about it. But noticing a change in your partner’s emotions when it comes to this is a telling sign that they aren’t as ready as you are and are potentially thinking about other options.”

4. Sudden changes in routine

Given that you and your partner have a healthy amount of space between you, an unexpected routine change can be a cause for concern. Trust your instincts and notice any significant deviations from your partner’s normal behaviour.

If your partner suddenly alters their work schedule, starts spending more time away from home, or develops an unusual urgency to be alone, it might indicate a shift in their priorities. New hobbies or interests that exclude you, or changes in gym or workout routines without explanation, could also be red flags.

April cautions; “While personal growth and change are natural, drastic shifts in routine that create distance in the relationship are worth discussing. If your partner’s new schedule or interests consistently leave you feeling left out, it’s time for an honest conversation about your concerns and expectations.”